Austin Powers on Neoliberalism

Those of us Gen-Xers who are Stateside get to experience the Austin Powers gang doing Verizon commercials. As a Verizon customer, I wish the company would spend the fruits of its rent-seeking on de-enshitifying my cable rather than on erstwhile Saturday Night Live comedians, but that’s a topic for another day.

Or is it? As it turns out, in 1997 Austin Powers (Number Two, to be precise) absolutely nailed neoliberalism:

The world is flat! Corporations will – and should – run everything! Evil is passé! Except that we’ve come full circle. The plan to make money through companies instead of evil is a plan to make money through companies by engaging in evil. “Don’t be evil” becomes “Be evil, if it’s profitable.”  

Why did Dr. Evil disappear in the 1960s only to return in 1997? Because “greed and corruption” were ok again: ‍

Speaking of which, look at where we are today. It is the Pope, not our political leadership, who reminds us that markets serve people, not the other way around. It is the Chicago School – former home of Milton Friedman! – who reminds us that being pro-market and pro-business are not the same thing. And the guy Ed Luce has deemed a Bond villain (Ed Luce! I never agree with Ed Luce!) is doing his Bond villain stuff as the richest man on earth, having made his riches via… you guessed, it, multinational corporations. When called on the villainy by a sitting member of Congress (who represents Silicon Valley and knows of what he speaks), this fellow threatens to sue. How very … Number Two.

On our 250th birthday, we have a Reflecting Pool – i.e., a place for engaging in reflection – that was painted American Flag Blue through a no-bid contract. The paint is peeling, there’s an algae bloom, it smells bad, therefore we’re arresting a former Olympian. If South Park had written this episode, we’d say that even they had gone too far.

Austin Powers had a sequel, and the sequel involved a rocket. Maybe we can really come full circle, and the rocket to colonize Mars will look something like this: